"permanent"

I got some pretty odd questions from a new kickboxing student the other day. She saw from our bulletin board that I have a fight coming up on the 8th and decided to throw some crazy questions out there. My favorite was " do you do drugs before you fight?"

Huh?

No, seriously, what???

Drugs like steroids? (yeah, I'm obviously juicing. You can tell from my enormous muscles.) Drugs like heroin? I really just had no idea what she was asking me. So I tried to cover all bases. "I'm natural. I haven't even had any caffeine in about 4 years," I said. "Oh, really? Do fighters usually use caffeine before fights?" Sigh. This woman was just trying not to understand. She went on.

"Have you ever fought with an injury before?" "Of course," I said. I figure most have. She expressed her disturbance in a dramatic fashion. "Aren't you worried it will be permanent?" I was baffled. I didn't know what she meant at all. "Aren't you worried the damage will be permanent?" "No, " I said. I'm still baffled by this, what I can only think of as a weak mentality built for making excuses. Permanent? How can any injury be permanent? I'm mortal. That means I die. That means nothing having to do with my body is permanent. Do I have injuries? Sure. Illnesses, pain, all these things. Of course. Some of these things will probably be with me all my life. That's part of living. I can't imagine a life where you try futilely to preserve your body as though it were your first dollar. I can't imagine the fear you cultivate when you believe that injury is a terrible, terrible thing to be avoided at all costs because it will ruin your body permanently. I think if I had to make the choice I'd rather die now than live that way. How can you possibly have any enjoyment?

I'd also like to point out this woman is overweight and enjoys what I can only describe as grossly unhealthy foodstuffs. Of course, it would be socially frowned upon if I returned her judgmental attitude by asking if she was worried her diet would cause" permanent" damage.

So, we all make our choices. We all use our bodies for something that causes them to degrade. As for me, I'd rather go out doing something I have great regard for and great enjoyment of than to go out with a whimper, sitting on my sofa watching Desperate Housewives and eating Cheetos.

I still love the clinch

I'm fighting at Wild Bill's on November 8th. Everything's confirmed. I owe big ups to Jeff Boudreaux who helped me get in touch with David Oblas, the promoter for Wild Bill's. Jeff has been an enormous help in getting everything in order. Otherwise, I would have had yet another cancellation and probably wouldn't have found out until pretty close to the fact.

I'll be fighting International Rules. This is not my decision. I love the clinch. I love knees. What can I say?- it's hard to find opponents. Don't get me wrong, I still plan on making it a great fight, and you guys will enjoy watching it. Just don't take it personally when you yell out "knee! knee!" and I ignore you. Just yell out something else instead.

Kaitlin Young

I like watching these 3 Kaitlin Young fights. She ko'd all 3 of her opponents in this tournament.

I have to be honest, I wasn't really inclined to watch at first. I felt like it was probably going to be a bunch of grabbing and bad clinching and apefisted punching. But Kaitlin Young is a real Muay Thai technician. You'll notice that none of these 3 matches goes to the ground.

She throws some really nice knees in the first bout.

Awesome head kicks, and she beats a girl who has substantially more experience.

I like how Kaitlin doesn't try to look all tough and dude-like, and she's not all covered with tattoos. Neither does she slather herself with makeup and try to look cute. She just looks like a regular girl. The girl next door, perhaps. The girl next door who kicks you in the head.

remember Punchy?

I never understood why this guy's hair looked like antlers. Maybe it was a hat. Either way, when I was a kid we always used to ask each other "How'd you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?" and then we'd punch each other. Kind of like a Hertz Donut. And if you don't remember that, I'd be glad to give you one. : )

my dome

I've recently been reading a lot on the internet about concussions, and their long-term effects. It's been suggested by many in the medical community that every time you get a concussion, that makes it easier for you to get a concussion next time.

I refuse to get on board with this. My skullpiece does not accrue damage, it simply becomes well seasoned, like a good cast-iron skillet. That's right, my head is like a skillet. It is only because I haven't been hit in the head enough that I sometimes forget where my keys are, or people's names, or how to get home from the North Avenue rail station. Have you ever tried to make cornbread in a halfway seasoned cast iron skillet? It sticks and falls apart, and lacks flavor.

Ok, ok, so- some of you naysayers may side with the medical community; modern technology, advancements in medicine, and so on. Need I remind you that there was a time when leeches were used as medical instruments, bloodletting was commonplace, and patients were told to ingest mercury? Maybe it's possible that we just don't know enough about this brain-skillet relationship yet. I intend to press on with my personal research.

It's not "stand-up," it's Muay Thai

I'd like to take a minute to discuss one of the big irritations in my life. I spend a great deal of my time in the gym, and I think it's about time that people from other areas of study give Muay Thai its due respect.

It's not "stand-up." "Stand-up" is a part of mixed martial arts, not Muay Thai. When you come to Muay Thai class, that's what you're practicing- Muay Thai. It's not "stand-up class." It's not Mooey Thai, May Thai or Mai Tai. Not Tae Bo, either.

There. I said it. I'm not sorry.

And just so you know, a Mai Tai comes with a little umbrella and cherries.

The best flavor of Gatorade

I have come to the conclusion that Gatorade Fierce Melon is the best flavor. I had my first Fierce Melon after training yesterday, and it was so refreshing that I felt like it should be served in a coconut with a little umbrella.

Previously my favorites were Berry Rain and AM Tropical Mango.

I'm not saying I don't like those other flavors anymore. Fierce Melon is hardly ever available anyway. I couldn't find any at the supermarket. I bought the last one at the gym and now there aren't any more.

Some bicycling site says testers prefer "more pedestrian flavors."